If I were a Butterfly

Like most of you, I’m on a journey.  I’ve survived childhood sexual abuse and rape, domestic violence and homelessness, abandonment, loss and hunger. I’ve been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), general anxiety disorder (GAD), seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and depression.  I have control issues, hints of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), general health anxiety and dissociative amnesia.  I’ve been surrounded by people and felt alone…for years.  I’ve stood at the door of suicide and nearly opened it, just wanting the darkness to end.

However, I’ve also traveled the world and laughed until I’ve peed my pants. I’ve loved and have been truly loved. I’ve had moments of pure joy and peaceful lazy days in the sun. I’ve created art, cultivated friendships and camped with the sound of lions nearby. I’ve lived in a castle and sailed with a prince.  I’ve lived and loved my life with a passion.

A butterfly represents transformation.  If I Were a Butterfly is a record of my journey, my therapy and my life in general.

I hope that by telling my story you can glean some healing of your own and be a butterfly with me.