About If I Were a Butterfly

If I were a butterfly If I Were a Butterfly is a blog about healing, transformation, and taking steps toward happiness. I was once a frightened little girl with extremely low self-esteem and a deep self loathing. Now, at 52, I have finally learned that I’m not so bad after all. In fact, I’m pretty amazing :)  I’m married to a sweetheart of a man who adores me and loves to make me laugh, I live in a gorgeous village in South Africa by the beach and I create art whenever I feel like it.  Those old ghosts still come to haunt me on occasion, but I have committed to ongoing therapy, to spending more time on my online support group for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, and to this blog.  I’ll write about my therapy, the processes I use for healing and life in general.

Healing is a lifelong journey. Hey, I never said it would be easy. But it does get better and better.

As I said in my first post, butterflies represent transformation. I am well on my way to being a butterfly.

I hope you’ll be able to take this journey and be a butterfly with me.

Debbie :)


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10 thoughts on “About If I Were a Butterfly

  1. Jen

    I love the idea of being a butterfly..I am reminded of when a Monarch landed upon my hand and visited with me.I was astounded by the strength of those legs..they were not tender timid things,but instruments of tenaciousness,persistence..

    1. Deborah

      Oh my gosh Jen! I didn’t ever know that! I love that you’ve shared that with me, and the fact…”not tender timid things, but instruments of tenaciousness and persistence.”!

      Thank you!! :) Debbie

  2. Rescuing Little L


    I was delighted to find your blog through Dr. Bakari’s site, Talking Trees. I was able to attend her conference this year for the first time and was overwhelmed with love and acceptance. It was truly a remarkable experience. I look forward to reading your blog and finding another survivor friend.

    I’m happy to share my real name with you at some point but for my first post I’m using my pen name.

    Thank you!

    1. Deborah

      Hi Rescuing! Thank you so much for writing here, and also for reading my blog. I also love Dr. Bakari’s site. She has taught me and others so much. I wanted badly to go to the conference, but I’m in South Africa, so very far away! :) I’m glad you went. I’m looking forward to hearing more about it. Perhaps she’ll post a video.

      I like the name of your blog ‘Rescuing Little L’. How that resonates with me and I’ll bet with others too – rescuing the hurt, scared little children in us.

      I’m also looking forward to reading your blog!

      From one survivor (butterfly :)) to another <3

      Debbie :)

  3. Peggy

    Hi Debbie
    I have just spent time with Lisa and it is such a pleasure. She told me to go to your blog and here I am. Yes, I too was sexually abused and unable to share it with anyone save a therapist. Far from home. In those days it wasn’t recognized or spoken about. Your behaviour was who you were the reasons for it were not important.
    So I read this with lots of feelings. I am 73 and have come to terms with much but there is so much more. I would love to have had my family recognize the situations, to have admitted that they knew something was happening, or that they are sorry they didn’t recognize what was happening, that blaming me and calling me the bad seed wasn’t what should have happened. On the other hand, in many ways I feel that fighting for my own survival made me who I am today….but there is also knowing that the past shaped the things I regret about myself still.
    I will follow your writing and be thankful for it!
    I always felt those Hall women were women to identify with, And I am lucky to be back in Vero with access to them once more!

    1. Deborah

      Hi Peggy,

      It’s wonderful to be in touch again with you. It’s been so many years, and yes, I also always felt a connection, or that I could identify with you too. I’m sorry you were also sexually abused. Also about the family complications – wishing people would recognize or at least acknowledge that it happened. The thought of you having to fight for your survival makes me sad. But I hear you about it making you who you are today. I always thought you were different in a really good way. I’m not sure that I can say what it was. It was your energy, your personality, your beauty. Strange, it’s been so long, but I can hear your voice…talking to your mom.

      Thank you for writing here, for disclosing, for following my blog. I have found that the more I “come out” about my sexual abuse, the more people I find out it happened to.

  4. Lisa Marie Hearndon

    I love this idea Debbie , and you truly are like a butterfly , beautiful inside and out :) I think this will help a lot of people , you just have a way with your writing that just brings you right in . I will be watching for more writing :))))) love you


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